LOOKIT! THE NEW 'LIKE'

Lookit!

Lookit. I didn’t play my best today. I trained hard and I was totally prepared physically and psychologically. Totally. But lookit.  When he came in with that final kick in the final two seconds of the match I thought it was all over. I  was daydreaming,  looking at a bird in the sky. Lookit.  I mean a magpie or a crow or something that came out of the blue flying across the pitch and Lookit the ball shot right past me and Lookit I wish it hadn’t happened but Lookit it did and Lookit what’s the point it’s spilt milk Lookit it’s water under the bridge. Lookit we all played our hearts out Lookit all the lads they were brilliant absolutely brilliant Lookit sorry guys it was all my fault and we would have won it Lookit if it hadn’t been for that bird.  I don’t know what it was, it was black. And white. Maybe it wasn’t a bird at all. But Lookit. These things happen. Lookit.

And then afterwards I was so pissed off. What do you expect after a thing like that? Lookit. I was driving along on my way back west as fast as I could and Lookit that dog came out of nowhere and Lookit I ran over him. Lookit. I take full responsibility. It’s the way life is, sometimes. Lookit, it’s my fault, but Lookit, as luck would have it lookit it happened. Lookit.

And Lookit, when that old woman  came running after me, I lost it. Lookit, I thought she had something, a gun, a firearm.  A bomb! Yeah, it was her handbag, but Lookit,  isn’t hindsight  a great thing? And, Lookit, she had that accent, the kind of accent women with firearms have.  The gangs. Lookit, she sounded like a gangster’s mother from Summerhill or Ballymun or Blackrock or somewhere. What? Lookit, I’m from the country.  I’m not an expert on these, you know, local distinctions.  Anyways  she sounded to me like she’d have a gun. Lookit, you know what I mean, she was crazy, I’d killed her dog. So, Lookit. I over reacted.  Lookit, I shot her. Self defence.  Look it I’m a goalkeeper, defence is my middle name.  Where did I get the  gun?  Lookit, I’m from down the country. We shoot rabbits, don’t we?  And foxes. Lookit, I’m sorry, but Lookit, spilt milk, water under the bridge, Lookit I’ll do anything I can to help. But Lookit.  We lost the match and there’s two people Lookit… gone. Dead as doornails, yes, I mean. A dog and a woman. It breaks my heart, it really does, But ah sure! Lookit!